Voices
by Colors of Music
Summary: The war with Pitch is over, but Jack's giving in to his own mental one... Warning: mentions of cutting and suicide. May not be what you expect.
1. Chapter 1

_I am also taking requests! Check out my profile for more information!_

**_Howdy~ I know I should be updating Saving the Guardians, but you see… when an idea like this takes hold, it's a Pitbull; it latches on and doesn't let go till I've given it what it wants… Funny how I say that 'cause I've never owned a Pitbull… Anywho, I would just like to state a few things *besides that fact that I don't own these amazing characters*._**

**_1) I just finished watching "Lawless", and that southern hick accent is all up in my head, so if it leaks into my writing, bear with me, okay?  
2) I have two versions of this. The first one is what you are about to read; it's the "regular" ROTG style one. However, the next one is a more AUV (version) with the ROTG characters as humans. You can read both or you can read just one. It's up to you.  
3) This story (adding this after I finished it) seems to be a completion of a lot of my STRESS built up inside, and put in raw, not a lot of detail, baboom form. So, yes, this is a raw "prototype" that I most likely won't go back to and fix because let's face it... I need the practice._**

* * *

Everybody experiences pain more than one time in their lives.

Soft pain like stubbing your toe or hitting your hip on a table.

Sharp pain, be it a physical fight or too hard physical contact.

And then there's the Harsh pain.

**_Words._**

See, you can't take words back. It doesn't work like that. Once they've left your mouth, it's too late. Hell, by the time your vocal cords and brain have decided to _form _the _letters_, it's too late.

So tell me… have you ever experienced a pain like that? A harsh, deep abiding pain that rips at you the way a lion will tear into a gazelle, or a wolf tears into a rabbit? A rabbit… Funny how that comes to mind now; with all that's been said and done. You'd think I wouldn't give a damn about _rabbits _at this point, seeing as to how this is_ my_ entire_ fault. _But… He did set things into motion. Now, I'm not saying they would never have gotten started in the first place, but I wouldn't have minded the reality of it all just staying at bay a little longer…

I'm dying. And if you care to know how I got here, you can go on listening to me; otherwise you might as well just back out now and leave me talking to myself like a loony. Maybe you'll be _touched _deep in the heart and your love will save me…

* * *

"But none of them believe in you, do they mate? You're invisible to them…" You could've heard a pin drop. The silence lasted less than ten seconds, but by the time Tooth intervened, my cold, frozen heart had stopped beating, and I was covering up the tears in my eyes with a smirk, which Bunnymund responded to just as easily.

_Oh, you feel real mighty now, don't you, you damn kangaroo. But what if you knew? Would you give a damn?_

"Bunny, that's enough-" Tooth leaped forward, breaking the tense silence we had been wrapped in. Yet he still smirked, he didn't even apologize.

_Who am I kidding, of course you wouldn't._

I brushed it off, just as easily as the sentence had flown from his bucktoothed mouth. Just brushed if off with smirks and sarcasm; the way I've always dealt with this fact… the fact that I am invisible to the children who I care for so much, who I love and fly with and start snowball fights with. Kids who, always being warned by their parents that I'll nip at their noses, grow up themselves only to tell _their _children to dress warmly, least I come and freeze them to death.

Kids who have never seen me or believed in me for _one second_, telling their children to watch out for a- a- an apparition. That's all I was. Someone to bring joy, but never be loved back.

Bunnymund's words hurt; worse than if someone had put burning coals in my stomach. It's the only reason I can come up with for why the tears burned in my eyes.

But I moved on. As I always did when I came to the truth so blatantly spoken by him. Damn that Easter Kangaroo. Damn him.

Anyways, if you believe the stories Jamie has surely told, I became a Guardian, the one and only Guardian of Fun; creating blizzards for the kids to play in on snow days, and beautiful frost pictures on your windowsill to enjoy as a work of art. The way he tells it makes me come off as a legend; not that I'm complaining of course.

And we all moved on with our lives. North back to his Yetis and psycho elves to prepare for Christmas, Tooth and Sandy to their never-ending jobs of collecting "memory-teeth" and gifting children with dreams. Pitch back to whatever hell-hole he climbed up from, chased and consumed by his own Nightmares… and Bunnymund back to his egg babies, preparing for another Easter. An Easter where _I _come into no contact with any of his eggs, or have anything to do with the holiday itself.

And me? Well, I just went back to my lake after seeing North and the others get settled back into their routine. I just slipped out the door and rode the wind home, not waiting for any offers to stay with North; or rather, not waiting to hear the empty awkward silence that would follow their _unsaid offers. _I just slipped away like I didn't even exist… Just one more thing to add to the List.

Then, I just settled up in my lonesome tree, pulled my hood up over my eyes and sighed. What, did you think I, Jack "Guardian of Fun" Frost, was going to cry? Nuh uh, 'cause while I may have slipped out unnoticed, I wouldn't stay missing for long. More likely than not, Sandy would be tasked with the job of finding me, seeing as to how we were closer than the others, and I don't want him to see how weak I am; not after what just transpired I mean, come on! Nope, I just sighed 'bout half a million times, trying to stuff away the Feelings and List just a little longer.

About an hour later, lo' behold, Sandy shows up at my doorstep- err tree. He lights down beside me with a swishy kind of sound; like sand being tossed around in a jar. I force a smile, and he graces me with one of his own. And we just sit there in silence; no pictures, no words, just our mutual breathing and separate musings.

I think back on the past couple of days, about how desperate it seemed when Tooth lost her little helpers, about helping Baby Tooth and the competition with North, Sandy and Bunnymund to see who could collect the most teeth. About Pitch breaking my staff after I refused his offer (I was torn inside; pair up with someone who understands my anguish, someone who won't say such careless things – or stay true to the others). Being tossed into an ice crevice, finding my memories and discovering my past. Fighting back, saving the day, getting a family and believers. Oh, it was peaches and cream if you thought about it. But there was a memory that kept pushing inconsistently at me. A harsh, cold memory from that time, and I refused to let it rear its ugly head; not until Sandy was out of range. I didn't want him snooping around in my dreams and reporting back to North of his findings.

Pushing down the bitter taste in my mouth, I turn to look at Sandy, and find him staring at the Man in the Moon.

A little part of me broke inside at the scene. I'd been flaking little by little at first, but now I was sure that the falling apart part was going to happen at any moment.

The Man in the Moon. He who couldn't be bothered to tell me why I was here, what my purpose was. He who took away my life, my sister, my family, my memories… _He _who single handedly drove me insane with his silence, only to rip away my crumbling world and toss me into another one that was too suffocating for a person like me. _He who didn't give a damn for 300 years whether I lived or died until I suddenly became a convenience to use._ And here sat Sandy, gazing in reverence at the full, lily white orb, probably feeling grateful to MiM for sending me or just helping save the children in general.

Well, that's all it was about, right? Not saving Jack's soul, or showing him back to his life. It was just to protect a generation of children from another _monster _He'd made.

I wanted to shake Sandy and yell at him _Wake up! Can't you see? He doesn't care about you. Or Me. Or any of the others. And the ONLY reason why __we're __here is to make sure children believe in magic, believe in HIM. _

I reach out, my pale hand trembling ever so slightly, and place it on Sandy's shoulder. His head suddenly is riveted on me, he smiles broadly and I know…

I know that my words would not wake him up to the truth that I so plainly see.

I know that I am the only one who feels this way, feels so harshly forgotten and enslaved by my own mind.

I know that I am lying to myself and trying to put my blame on others who may have had a hand in my demise, but did not drive me to it.

And I know that I am going to die alone.

I smile back at him and nod my head before standing up, grabbing my staff, and letting the wind whisk me away to someplace far, far away from humans, Guardians and the Moon.

* * *

I don't know where I am. Where the wind took me. It's the same place, though, each time I want to escape. I don't even have to whisper it because it already knows. It feels the heaviness leaking out of me; it feels the pain and desperation pouring off of me.

So here I am, curled into a ball on a wooden floor, where dust and dirt spiral around me. Frost slides over the ground like a crystalline skating ballerina, creating figure eights and complicated patterns on the floor around me, forming a thin icy bed that I wind up lying on. I don't shiver. I don't sweat. I don't cry or wail or scream. I just breathe.

In. Out. In. Out.

I take in the rusty, yet wet earth smells around me. If there had been drapes, you could bet they'd be floating lazily on the breeze coming through the glassless windows. The walls creak with age, and in the distance I can hear a brook bubbling. This place is my Shack, my Sanctuary where I do as I please without interruption. Without judgment. Without help.

I hate it.

But I can't contemplate it now; I never have time to anyways. Because the List and the Feelings take over not soon after the ballerina stops her dance and wilts into the ground.

It always starts the same way. First, with a sharp stab in the abdomen, like those hot coals from before have frozen up and are now trying to rip their way out. Then, a sort of cold sweat follows, drenching me before the flashbacks even begin. My head pounds and I swear, for the minutes that it does, I can see sounds. I end up twisting over to try and appease the pain, to make it go away, but it only gets worse and I become stuck, like a heavy boulder was suddenly dropped on my chest, pushing all of the air out of me.

Then, the flashbacks. These drive me insane, because they're really the List in picture form. They take all of my mistakes; from the smallest thing such as not creating a snow day and disappointing children to the biggest… which recently was ruining Easter, and sending Bunnymund down the road I walked for 300 years: he became invisible to the children. It nearly destroyed him.

_He was right about you, you know. You destroy everything you touch._

But the best part? My voices.

**_You should have been there, protecting the tunnels. Instead you run off on a fancy and left the Eggs to rot at the hands of Pitch!_**

_A fancy. A selfish need that almost killed Baby Tooth. Never mind yourself, you brat, you could've killed Baby Tooth; frozen her to death._

**_Frozen. Frost. Now that you remember what happened, don't you feel so brave? You saved your sister; only to damn her to a lifetime of guilt!_**

_You couldn't even get her to believe in you! What a joke you are. Do you seriously think that after 300 years of being invisible, you are suddenly top stuff because you're a Guardian and a handful of children believe in you!?_

**_That's right, Jacky. You're still a worthless, invisible twerp. You said it yourself; the Man in the Moon USED you for his own deeds, his own desires. You're a whore, Jacky. Made immortal by Him, kept in waiting for 300 years, and then used to your limit after all that time. You're a one night stand, an eternal whore! _**

_A tool to be used at will._

"Sh-shut up." But whispers can't be heard over shouts.

**_Why you crying Jacky? You know it's the truth. Why shy away from it forever? It was bound to be brought up sometime, and now that Bunny's hit the sweet spot, why not keep pounding for more?_**

_Take it in, Jack, like the whore you are! You can cry and beg for it to stop, but you know you like it, you THRIVE on this. What would you be without us, Jack? An empty shell, a forgotten face, a used up old name._

**_Even Pitch, forgotten for so many years, was given more thought than you! And even HE scoffed and ignored you until it was in his best interests not to._**

Now the voices were vicious, attacking at old wounds, splitting wide open freshly healed ones. They drove me mad, to the brink of insanity to where I believed the Voices were in the room with me… But they were just in my head. Taunting me, leading me along to an end I knew was near. Trembling, as they laughed and shrieked at me, I managed to drag myself over to the old fireplace. Now, they were calling for blood, demanding payment for their wrath… and I grabbed the broken grate, so sharp after these years, and paid them their due.

I was lying when I said I smelled rust. There's no metal but that small sliver of grate I grasped in my hand. No, because the rust on the ground, pooling there now, is my blood. Trailing crimson tears along my snow white skin.

Marring me for all to see…

* * *

And it continued like this. For days, weeks, months. An entire year of hatred, anger and pity slung across my arms hidden by the blue hoodie's sleeves. And no one knew my dirty little secret.

The Guardians, they thought they'd become like second family to me. Closer than blood even.

If only they knew how close their words brought them to me… then maybe that last statement would chill them.

Finally, I just couldn't take it. Finally, the straw that broke the camel's back. The kangaroo who overstepped the line, and the one person I thought I could trust most betrayed me.

I guess Sandy has eyes and ears everywhere.

The day before Christmas; one of North's busiest times. A day when Bunny is in full swing too because Spring will be soon upon us. So, receiving a summons from either one would be enough to send someone into a panic… but to be called by both of them _and _the rest of the Guardians had me willing to ship out of the country, the world and onto Pluto.

And I did the worst thing possible; I sucked it up and went. I should have turned tail and ran right then and there. I could've hid out someplace, somewhere deep underground where Sandy couldn't find me and Bunny couldn't dig to. Or gone so high up in the mountains, Tooth and North couldn't fly for fear of hitting a mountain in the clouds.

Instead, I pretended to be alright. I plastered a smile on my face, threw a hood over my eyes, tugged down the sleeves so they covered the scars, and walked into North's workshop, full of smirks, bitterness and in all my barefoot glory.

"Jack, we need to talk." It was the first thing I heard, and would have been the last except someone (probably Phil) slammed shut the door behind me. I was committed, whether I liked it or not.

Shrugging, I shoved my hands in my pockets and swayed forward. "Sure, what's it about, Tooth?" Something should have been going off in my head (like a warning bell, perhaps) when she didn't offer me a seat. Hell, I should've been suspicious from the get- go. But like an idiot I stood there until all of the Guardians were assembled in front of me, worried from their heads to their toes. Even as I started to realize what had happened, I stuck with the act, determined to milk it for all its worth.

"Jack, well, you see, for the past couple of months… umm-"

"Oh, don't sugar coat it for him, Tooth. Look, Jack, Sandy's been telling us about your 'dreams', and we want to know w-"

"Wait, what?" My stomach was no longer coal hot, or icy cold. In fact, my stomach dropped out of me and into the ground when I heard Bunny's straight-forward statements. _Sandy knew? _Was my first thought. And then my second was: _The little bastard ratted me out! _Already, I could feel the burning sensation start in my feet. A cold-hot feeling I knew all too well. Slowly it made its way up my body, from my calves to my hips, up through my stomach, into my heart, and eventually heating my face as they spoke.

"We've tried talking to you before, but you always sidestep us!" Tooth tried to explain. "Jack, we're your family now, and family tells each other what's hurting them inside. We want to help you, heal you. But you have to let us in."

"Let you in?"

"Yes!"

"Look, mate, how do you think we felt when we had to learn, second hand, from Sandy that you were driving yourself… mad with… with…" Bunnymund couldn't even come up with a name for what was wrong with me. Hell, neither could I, but it made me even madder when he tried to categorize me like some lab specimen; some statistic to measure, analyze and fix.

"The truth?"

"No!"

"Oh? Well from what I hear, you think I'm just some statistic to fix, a number gone wrong, don't you?" I could feel my eyes narrow on my face. My mouth tightening, my shield crumbling. It was only made of glass anyways. A fool could have seen through it.

"Jack, stop it and listen to yourself! This is not like you! Let's just calm down and-"

"And what North? Talk things out? Well guess what, I've BEEN talking things out with myself for the past 301 years. I've BEEN listening to myself the whole time, and analyzing. So here, I'll TELL you what I've found. I'm a low-down, useless tool to be used when most convenient for you all. Someone to be forgotten and not given a rat's ass about until he's needed to save the children!"

"Jack! The children are a cause to put above each of ourselves. They are our reason for living!"

"Maybe for you. But not me. No, it wasn't for me for 300 years. And for those centuries, I was forgotten, ignored, stepped on and stepped through. The children are safe, so what about Jack? Huh? North, you've been busy with Christmas preparations, Tooth, you've got a day and night job, just like Sandy, when he can find time between eavesdropping on conversations where he's not wanted," I snapped, glaring in bitter agony at Sandy. The anger was there, but it was fueling the sourness inside me.

"Jack, apologize to Sandy this instant! He was only trying to help you-"

"By what, Tooth? Hmm? Gathering data to be analyzed, like a freaking animal? I don't think so. I'm not apologizing for any damn thing at this point. You wanted to talk, well I'm talking! And you, Bunny… I know Spring's coming up, but don't you think the eggs can run on their own for a bit? Did ANY of you think "Hey, maybe I'll take the day off and let the yetis or fairies take over and visit my old pal _Jack. _He _is _family after all."" By that point, I was huffing, backing up and huffing. They were looking at me like I'd just grown another head. We stood there in silence punctuated by my huffs and puffs.

"Jack…" Bunny was the first to speak up. "What do you mean… conversations?" My eyes widened as I realized my mistake, only too late. "Jack, who's telling you these things about yourself? They aren't truths, they're lies." I took a stupid second to wonder how he knew what the Voices told me, then I realized that Sandy probably told them _everything._ And that second was all Bunny needed to scoot close enough to put a paw on my shoulder, look down on me in worry, and embrace me. I was caught off guard so badly I could barely hear his next words clearly: "We're gonna make it through this Jack."

That snapped me out of it and I violently shoved him away from me. "No… you might, but I'm not." And before they could register what it was I meant, I was off, the wind carrying me away from my "family". Away from the shouts of my name. From the pressure. The words. The caring….

Away from help.

* * *

Tears stung my eyes as I was carried to the cabin. They'd look there first, I knew it, but I had to grab the grating first. It was now a part of me. Inside my head, I heard the Voices screeching at me, mocking me.

**_You slipped up Jacky, and now you have to fix it. Fix your mistakes. Fix it. Fix it!_**

"I am," I hiccupped out. "I am." And woosh, I was gone again, to my lake. Where it all began.

The Moon was not out, he was hibernating and I had the bitter happiness of seeing him in his New Moon form. _Couldn't care enough to see me die. _I laughed between the sobs. How could I hold it in at this irony. The Man in the Moon saved me after I died accidentally, and now, he would not see me to safety as I took my life purposefully.

And then, I unceremoniously slit my wrists. Smoothly. Jaggedly. Deeply. The serrated grate tugged and pulled free, falling from my dripping grasp onto the pristine ice. I stumbled forward on to my knees, my staff once clutched to tightly falling beside me with bloody handprint stains.

I sobbed to the point where my body began to convulse, and I fell to my side, hitting the ice hard once more, covering my ears from the Voices.

**_You weakling! You're gonna get up, cry for help!_**

"N-n-o, I w-w-wo-won't!"

_Shut up! With all of the noise you're making, they're probably on their way right now. Already breaking a promise you couldn't keep._

"I'm sorry," I whispered tightly, my throat closing up as I held in, to no avail, my wailing.

**_Just how you promised your sister you'd protect her. Well, Jacky, where were you when she needed you most? Why didn't you hold her when she fell asleep crying over you at night? Why didn't you come back to her? Why did you have to go and die?_**

"It wasn't my fau-fault!"

_Oh but it was! You're here now aren't you? Just look at yourself, you sniveling fool! Curled up on thin ice like a useless child. Like the children you always tried to bring joy to, but ended up failing in because they didn't believe in you. Did they? Even BUNNY saw it. Your "family" knew it too. But NO ONE goes against the Man in the Moon._

**_You're going to die, all alone, in the lake. Drowning in your own sorrow and misery. You're bleeding out, tainting the innocent ice. And you know what's most ironic of all?_**

_Do tell him!_

**_Oh, yes, I shall. You see, Jacky. All this time, if only you'd gone for help, if only you'd opened your heart, they would have saved you. You see, the Man in the Moon DID try and talk to you; but you were too wrapped up in yourself trying to get children to see you that you were deaf to his words._**

"N-No, you're lying! Shut up!" I pressed down harder on my ears, even though it caused more blood to flow. The last thing I heard along with the Voice was the sound of cracking ice.

**_Is it really a lie, Jacky?_**

And then, darkness and drowning.

* * *

_Ohh, dang. I did NOT expect this to happen! Actually, I was planning to make a Bunnymund x Jack fiction, a little bit angsty and sweet. But this did NOT end up how I planned it. Bunnymund was originally gonna say those terrible things, and then later on fix it with a kiss… but then this… THIS! I do not regret it, and I don't care if it seems too fast or jaggedy. I'm gonna write the alternate version, so check for that later…. Comments?_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am also taking requests! Check out my profile for more information!**_

_At first, and I must be honest here, I was actually thinking of just leaving this as is. But, then I got a few people asking if I'd make a second part, and at first I was thinking "eehh, it might take away from what I constructed." But then, I thought some more and decided "what the heck? It doesn't hurt to try, right?" The thing is that I wrote each chapter in different states of mind, but I hope I kept the mood. Also, (adding in after publishing it once), please check out my "spin off" of this idea: Alone. That is, if you like BunnyxJack pairing or angst in general. I don't usually self-promote -rubs head-. _

* * *

Have you ever heard a person sobbing? Truly sobbing? Where their anguish and pain fall from a body so brow-beaten and worn out. I have, and it just near 'bout broke my heart; and to make matters worse, I knew the person from who it came.

_Jack? _Was my first thought, and I lighted on the ground, stilling my wings and listening… listening so closely. Another sob echoed around me, filling me, wrenching me. _Oh my God. Jack. It's Jack._ My wings started up again and I twisted toward the rustling brush.

"Bunny, I found Jack!" I called, praying to Manny he heard me before speeding off through the trees. _Please, please don't make me too late! _I pumped my wings as fast and hard as I could, propelling around trees, under branches, through brush. Only when I reached the edge of the tree fringe did I realize where I was.

_Jack's lake. _And there, in front of me, curled into a fetal position, surrounded in a ruby liquid was he himself; the Guardian of Fun. "Oh, Jack, what's happened to you?" I whispered, feeling the wind carry my words.

They never reached him. It was horrific, watching the scene play out in front of me; it was something I can never un-see. A moment that truly chilled my heart, and for those few seconds, I knew what it must feel like to be Jack Frost.

The ice, oh how couldn't I have seen it? The spidery web-like fractures protruding from under his body. How could I have not remembered how _thin _he kept the ice? So thin to keep others from trying to skate, to keep them from his fate… From the fate replaying in front of me now.

I couldn't move. The shriek was stuck in my throat, the shock holding it there. My wings faltered for just a second, and my feet scraped the ground, the snow sending shivers through me, awakening me from my paralyzes.

Then, I sprang into action, skittering forward, only to hover over the spot where he disappeared. A consistent chant floated around me, and I didn't realize it was coming from me until Bunny grabbed my arm. "Bunny, save him. Save him. Save him."

* * *

Half a mile away. That was how far I'd been from Jack, and only a hundred yards away from Tooth when she shouted she'd found him. I'd turned to follow her, but had slid on the snow, falling to the ground. Hours from now I'd wonder what would have happened if I'd been more careful, if I'd thought of Jack's lake instead of wandering aimlessly in anger and worry. _If only my head had been on straight._

But I got back up. And I raced faster than I ever had before, pushing off from my legs like a spring, racing, racing, racing. Trying to beat time, my own racing heart. I didn't see what Tooth saw, but I heard her, and saw her hovering in a panic over a large hole in the ice. Without thinking, I thumped on the ice, only to freeze and slide across a bit more careful, remembering how thin the ice was.

I grabbed her jewel-colored feathery arm and shook her lightly. She repeated her mantra over and over, and wouldn't stop even when I called her a few times.

"Tooth! Dammit, Tooth!" Only five seconds had passed between the time I grabbed her arm and started calling her name, but I knew already, if Jack was down in that hole, he had less than a minute to live. The ice may be thin, but the water was Antarctic cold. "Why didn't you go after him?" I half whispered, half called. And then, she shocked me by screaming at me uncharacteristically:

"I can't swim!" She gasped, covered her mouth, than began to fret around in the air, still panicking. But it was as though her scream had woken me up. I felt stuck in a phase, that phase where your heart and body are reacting to the adrenaline, and your brain is on high speed, but you take in everything with a calm façade. _Sandy's up at the shack with North, Tooth can't swim… _And then that sudden slow realization came upon me. The realization that I was the only one capable of getting to Jack.

_I've never tried swimming before, but my hind legs are strong enough._ And all of this went through my head in less than ten seconds, during which time I had been staring at Jack's staff. I couldn't comprehend why until I saw the hole he fell through and knew it was too small for me. Swiping it off the ground, I braced it over my head to crash through the ice when I hesitated. I faltered. For just a second. But in that second, I saw his blood. Saw _his blood rise up from the depths of the lake, like ink._

Furious, I yelled a warrior's cry and slammed the staff down, breaking an entire chunk free and tossed the staff aside, I leaned down, bracing myself. Then, I threw over my shoulder one comment to Tooth: "Get the others," before plunging into the icy depths.

In the time it took for me to slide out on the ice and jump into the lake, thirty seconds had passed, but I knew it would have seemed like precious minutes to Jack if he was conscious enough to feel time pass. The water would have suffocated me had I not held my breath through that icy shock I first received. How I wanted to gasp, to shiver uncontrollably, but the lake was clear as glass, and through its openings I saw Jack, falling quickly through the lake, and my determination steeled within me as I pushed off, frantically swimming towards him.

And yet, there was something about the lake that changed you, had you wishing for release from its clutch. You could feel the death press in on you as your lungs started to give out, your legs and arms slowed, weighted down with freezing temperatures and water.

But I saw him, like a wounded bird flying through the depths, leaving a trail of crimson behind. I couldn't give up, couldn't stop now. So I pushed on, closing the distance between him and me bit by bit; the whole while feeling how time was slipping away.

I reached out, stretching my burning muscles, still kicking and pawing my way down. Closer. Closer. Almost… there…

Then, a miracle. I felt his hoodie swish by my paw and the energy that it gave me caused me to push forward and clutch him first in one paw, then both, finally clinging him to my chest. The effect of just _feeling _him in my arms gave want to a sob, but I had not forgotten where I was.

Looking up, I felt trapped in a bottle, with less than half the strength to make the return trip to the top. I glanced down at Jack and seeing no air bubbles pass forth from his lips anymore; his pale, bluing lips; I felt a surge of fear.

And I used that same fear to push up. Luck seemed to be on my side (what irony) and the water gave me extra push. It felt like hours but had most likely been only a minute during the time I found Jack and breached the surface. Gasping, I scrambled to get him on the ice, but the push I gave him sent me back under, confused and disorganized. I thrashed, finally letting the fear take over me, and sucked in water unintentionally.

I felt hands, then, reach in and grab me, pulling me out onto the ice with Jack, and I did not fight them. Choking, I threw up what I'd inhaled while in the lake, before sitting up suddenly and flailing to find Jack.

He only had seconds left if I'd caught him in time.

"J-Jack," I sputtered. "Get to him! Leave me be, leave me-" Then, I saw the looks of pity and sadness on their faces, and I knew… but I didn't want to believe. "No," I whispered hoarsely. "Oh, no…"

"Bunny, I'm so sorry," Tooth cried, reaching for me but I pushed her off throwing myself instead over Jack.

"NO! Oh, Jack… You bloody idiots!" I became frantic, pushing on his chest, calling for him to wake up, and they let me. But once I started pounding on him, sobbing uncontrollably, I felt the dream sand wash over me.

* * *

"What are we going to do, North?" Tooth's voice was small and fragile and I looked over at her, pondering the question. I had time to ponder now, and I took as much advantage of it as I could.

Earlier, after Sandy knocked Bunny down to a controllable mass, we had loaded both him and Jack up on my sleigh to be taken by to the workshop. Tooth and Sandy had jumped in right after, but I had taken the time to pick up Jack's staff first before heading off. Jack had been settled in an infirmary room separate from Bunny, who was currently under emergency treatment for hypothermia.

"At the moment, Tooth," I told her in my thick accent, "we can do nothing. We must leave the yetis to do what they can on Bunny, but Jack…" I shook my head, unable to believe he was really gone; the boy who had become like a son to me. I ran my hand along his staff, once so bright it seemed, was now lusterless and cold. His blood stained it like a war scar, and for the first time in so long, I wanted to cry. To let myself break down and cry for what I could have done for him, could have done with the boy… but no. Tooth and Sandy needed a leader, and while Manny rested, unaware, I was in charge of that.

"Bunny needs to recuperate, and we must focus on the living first."

"But North, what about Jack? He can't just… stay… t-there-"

"The living comes first before the dead, Tooth," I barked out, only to regret it instantly. My face softened as I put my large hand on her thin shoulder. "I… am sorry for my careless words. Jack will be cared for in time, but without us, Bunny will soon join him, and I cannot allow that to happen. Yes?" She nodded before floating weakly up.

"I need some time." When she had left, I turned back to his staff and finally, finally let my head sink into my hands. I did not sob. I did not sniffle or cry. But I let one tear leak from each eye. When things are under pressure, they must have some kind of little release or they will build up and explode. Taking a deep breath, I suddenly stood up, pushing back from my chair.

"Sitting around here is doing nothing. I must figure out something for Christmas, and then Bunny…" And I headed off to speak with Phil about delivering the presents so I myself would not become too weak to be of help…

* * *

My dreams were filled with nothing but darkness, yet I could feel every emotion unravel in me. Fear. Anger. Regret. Misery. Cold shock. And a name. I couldn't grasp the name, and every time I tried to, a wall of golden sand washed upon me and sank me back down into unconsciousness. Finally, mentally exhausted, I stayed under without help of Dream Sand.

When I began to come to, the name became clear: Jack. And like a magic tonic, I woke, slowly and groggily, but I was finally coming up out of my comatose. Cracking my eyes slightly against the bright light, I first became aware of a humming and beeping. Then a soft shudder, and another. Turning my head caused a woozy feeling to come over me, and I dragged my paw to hold together my splitting head. Once more, I was thrown back into the lake, the heaviness, the terrified and panicky feelings washing over me.

Eventually, my eyes cracked open all the way and I attributed each sound to its owner. The humming and beeping were monitors hooked up to me through needles. The shudders were Sandy, shifting in his seat as he watched me come-to. I saw him gaze at me expectantly, and I sat up slowly, blinking at the man who had kept me under for who knows how long. Keeping me from-

"Jack." He shook his head no, and even though I knew the fatal diagnosis, I wanted to see him. The want overcame me so blatantly, so urgently, I tore out the needles in me, sending the monitors on a frenzy. The door was thrown open not soon after and the big Russian man strode in.

"What is going on here?!"

"Jack," I snarled out, surprised at the ferocity of my voice, at the harshness of it. "I want to see Jack."

"Bunny, you will stay here. You are not to see Jack until you have completely healed-"

"No!"

"Bunny!" he exclaimed in shock. The silence was becoming unbearable, to the point of driving me crazy. North sighed and walked over to me, sitting in the chair across from me, leaning forward with folded hands. "This event with Jack… it has affected all of us. But there is no need for your actions. I ask you, from one Guardian to the next, to calm down and stay here. You will be better off for it," he spoke softly.

I myself tried to stay calm, but even so, the pressure in my heart and stomach leaked into my voice.

"You can't keep me in here, mate." I saw him resign to the fact that I wasn't about to give up easily on the matter. Nodding his head slowly, he patted my arm and stood.

"Very well, but you will do as Phil says-"

"But-"

"You will do as Phil instructs or you shall not see Jack for another month, Bunny." And that was final.

The fact of it was that I was still weak, and required Sandy's assistance to get out of bed, through the hall, and down the hallway to the infirmary holding Jack. The whole time, Sandy had a displeased look on his face, which I promptly ignored. In fact, by the time we entered Jack's holding, I wasn't focused on much else.

The whole place was empty but for his bed at the far end near the second window of four. The light highlighted his pale, deathly face. His once frost-blue hair turning a sick gray color, his eyes once so full of mischief closed from the world. The sheets, not nearly as white as the snow he once conjured, were pulled up to his chin, but, thankfully, not over his head.

I struggled to hurry over to his bed and Sandy struggled to keep up even though he was the one supporting me. I leaned heavily into the chair he sat me down in, and turned to thank him but was stopped cold by his look. He showed me pictures of the words he wished to say, and finally left, the message hanging in the air.

_Don't do anything stupid. There's nothing we can do now. Mourn._

"Mourn, huh? Guess this means I'm holding a vigil for ya, Jack." I couldn't look at him. Couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I stared at the calendar across from him and the clock beside it. _December 27__th__: 5:48 p.m._ For three days, I'd been subject to the tortures of my feelings… and now I was going to mourn and subject myself to memories of what could have been, should have been, and what was.

The first day I spent crying, paying heed to the fact that if I worked myself up too much, I would hyperventilate and Phil would drag me out of there, kicking and screaming. That night, Phil gave me some meds, a blanket, pillow and soup. Warned me to stay warm, considering I was just coming out of a bad bout of hypothermia. Then he left me, not really shocked with the diagnosis. My skin was still freezing to the touch even if my fur was warm.

As I slept, I was plagued with memories. Of the blizzard that first introduced me to Jack Frost, our rivalry from there. Of Manny choosing him to become a Guardian, my heated words, the anger that consumed me when Easter had been destroyed because of him. But now, I felt nothing but regret at those feelings. And then, a ting of happiness when Jack brought me back to full size, how he got Jamie to believe in me again, and the brotherly affection that stemmed from my heart for him.

That was the first night, and I woke up with warmth in my heart, only for the embers of it to be put out at the sight of him. And I cried, harshly, severely, but not as painfully as before. Not yet. For the rest of the day, I walked around, trying to regain some strength back in myself, eating warm foods and staying under blanket. The room itself was heated to at least 80 degrees.

The second night was no better than when I had been in a "coma". It plagued me with guilt and worry. Over how insensitive I'd been from that point on. While I had to prepare for next Easter, I had pockets of free time that I could have used to visit Jack. To bother _him _for a change, maybe even become closer to him like he was with Sandy. But instead, I'd visited North or Tooth, forgetting about the little Winter demon as I had for 300 years. And my heart cracked, sending a fiery feeling throughout my body so that I woke in a cold sweat.

The third night was even worse. The third night brought questions with no answer. Insecure questions. _What if I'd visited him? What if I'd spent more time with him, bothering or joking around? Didn't Tooth say we were family now? I could've forgiven him… And what if I had actually bothered to get to know him? None of this would have happened, and if it still had followed this course, I would have known to find him at the lake. I could have saved him before the ice broke. What if I had been a little bit faster? Would I have plunged in right after? Why did I waste time trying to calm down Tooth? She could have handled herself. I should have plunged right in after him… And the things I wish I could have said. What I've started to feel for him… Is that why I kept so far away? Because I was afraid? How must have Jack felt, then, all these years spent alone and afraid…_

My fourth night, December 31st, brought deliria. I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. One moment I was in the chair, the next on top of the covers with Jack, holding him into my chest, rocking back and forth, sobbing. I'd pass out and wake up on the ground, only to weakly crawl back into bed with him and hold his body close to mine, feel his breath on my fur…

His breath…

My heart stopped. _Jack's breathing. Is this a trick? A cruel dream reminding me what could have been? Dammit, what the bloody hell is happening. _

Another breath, and then another. Finally, he began to cough and stutter. I hadn't realized I'd cried out until Phil showed up and dragged me away from him. I lunged forward but North stood in my way, calling to me. "Jack, Jack, is he alive? North, am I going mad? What the hell's happening?!"

"Bunny, you are running a fever, why didn't you call anyone in before this?"

"But Jack, he's alive?" My eyes were wide and wondering. I didn't feel fear or anger. I felt… wonder and relief. _I didn't kill him. _"We didn't kill him, North! We didn't kill him!" I sang joyously.

"Perhaps not physically, Bunny. But not now. Later, later. We need to get you into treatment as well, Sandy-"

"No, I'm not going to be knocked out again. And I'm not leaving this room."

"G-go." It was a hoarse stutter, weak. But it was enough to stop everyone in their actions. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tooth flutter forward and call his name. Again, the same word greeted us, a bit stronger before tapering off at the end. "Go…"

What could we do… Phil ushered us out, nodding to another medic-Yeti to take care of me, and I felt myself dragged away before passing out from the fever. My last thought: _North was right…_

* * *

Three months pass, during which time Jack refuses to see anyone but Phil, his caretaker. Three months of worry and anguish over Bunny's relapse and Jack's mental health.

According to Phil, it had been Bunny who brought him back. He said there had been a thick coating of ice in Jack's lungs and veins, putting him in a state of animation until the ice was frozen. Bunny's hot, spiked fever had provided the heat for that. Apparently, when Jack inhaled the water from the lake, his naturally cold body, combined with the below freezing temperatures of the lake instantly solidified the water in him, turning it to ice, preserving him. Luckily, Phil was able to stabilize his condition and eventually started spending less and less time in the room with Jack.

It was Bunny that now had his worry. He had simply shifted from one extreme to the next: hypothermia to raging fever, with a rapidly deteriorating health. And the worst part of it was that Phil could only do so much. It was up to Bunny to find the strength, like Jack, to fight the illness off. But, once again like Jack, the problem seemed to be focused mainly in his heart and mind.

Then, on March 25th, Phil received a request from Jack, which he passed on to Sandy. A request that reached its way to Bunny via North, giving him hope and actually spurning his condition on for the better.

Jack wanted to see Sandy.

* * *

I could see the joy hop in the other's eyes. Maybe Jack was finally coming to his senses, and was ready to talk. But I knew better. This was nothing more than a house call. I'd been monitoring him from afar, and he knew it; how could he not. I saw the nightmares he put himself through (nothing of Pitch's doing). He wanted release from them; because it was one of the last things he needed driving him mad.

The Voices inside him were taking over, and I was the only one who could provide that release. Even the painkillers and medicine given to knock him out wasn't working. He needed something stronger; something I could provide.

The first night and the many that followed were much alike. Except, on the first night, I tried speaking to him. I did not show him how I agonized like the rest. I did not pressure him or put guilt on him by talking of the others or the children who missed his snow. Instead, I told him how glad we were to know he was alive. How happy we were to know there was a chance for us to be a family once more. But he just glared at me in this cold way, and I knew he hadn't forgiven me for what I'd done.

Dejectedly, I resigned myself to the fact that he was not yet ready to free me or anyone else from our chains of guilt. So I did the one thing I could do for him; I gave him the safety of peace and quiet.

For three months more, this continued. He would eat with me, and allow me and Phil to care for him; but he would not speak, would not mourn or cry or scream. Just… lie there, watching us, judging us and thinking. Over what, I do not know. And I had the burden of coming out every day to the hopeful faces of the others, only to shake my head and watch their faces fall. But they didn't give up. "He can't go on like this forever, he can't ignore our care we're ready to give him…" Tooth would say, and we all ignored the one word left off at the end: _right?_

And she was right.

It was June 25th, exactly six months from when Jack had first asked for me. Night had fallen quickly that day, and I was preparing him for my Dream Sand, when his hand reached out and grasped on to me. He didn't say a word, and I showed not a picture, but I could see, in his eyes, the words he couldn't describe. I saw his tentativeness as he forgave me. I took what I saw and made the sand around me create the pictures of his unsaid words. When we were through, he nodded, and gave me a smile that lifted the burdens from my shoulders and eased my heart of guilt.

With an easy smile on my face, I patted his head and sent him off to a calmer place. And though he still was not ready to speak to anyone, I knew, through what he has shown me, he was on his way to fixing the wrong caused by us all.

* * *

There was a lot of contemplation among ourselves that day when Sandy left Jack's room, giving us a nod instead of a head shake for once. It surprised us so much, we froze in the middle of our own head shakes. No matter how much was pressed for an explanation, he simply held up a finger to his lips and winked. _In time, _he seemed to be saying. _With time._

Another six months passed that way, and it was soon December first. A joyous day when Sandy came up to me and told me Jack was ready. A month earlier, North had been to see him for a week. Afterword, he looked much like Sandy; freed of burden, happier for it, yet still worried for us. His heart, he had said afterward, was lighter. "And the time will come when you may experience the gift he has given us. Until then, patience." And he'd walked off humming a tune under his breath.

A week earlier, I'd overheard him telling Bunny that Jack had a lot still to relieve from his system, and it annoyed me that the boys seemed to want to spare me the burden of their words. As if I didn't have other ones I was carrying.

I must have looked the way I felt when I flew into Jack's room, because he greeted me with an eyebrow raised. The sight took a second for me to comprehend, considering how very, very different it looked from before. In fact, he looked so much more like himself; I felt a tear drop from my eye.

"O-oh, it's nothing," I tittered lightly, wiping it away. Softly, I floated down beside him on his bed, and we spent at least half an hour in silence, looking at the other when we believed them not to be looking, musing in our own thoughts. Eventually, Phil knocked and came in. Before shooing me out, I promised Jack I'd be back.

For over a period of two weeks, I talked to him of light things at first; Baby Tooth and the antics of the other fairies, about collected teeth and how I wished the children would brush just a little better. How Bunny and North should give out sugar free candy on their holidays and their continued mule-headedness to ignore me.

Eventually, though, the topic had to come up. Of what I saw that day at the lake. I tried to hold off on it, but with all things wrong, they must be told and tried. As I spoke – of the fear, the shock, the panic - I stared down at my hands. It was like I was there again, reliving the moment, and before I could stop it, a small sob escaped. And, whether it be credited to my feminine air, or the fact I had finally come to tell my story, Jack reached out and forgave me with a look and two words. "I'm sorry."

I plunged forward, oblivious to his flinch and hugged him, smothering him in kisses from the top of his head to his cheeks and eyes and chin. I covered him in hugs and tears. "Don't say that to me, Jack, but to yourself. Forgive yourself first. I mean, it's _great _you've forgiven me. I can't tell you how grateful and happy and light of burden I feel now… but you must come first." And then, with a motherly kiss to his forehead, and while holding his hands, I told him he must take the last leap and forgive Bunny, and talk to him. That that is what his heart now needed.

I could see his indecision. Yet after a brief struggle seen in his eyes, he agreed, slightly smiling for me. And my heart soared with a hummingbird's joy.

* * *

They'd all had their turn, each of them. Sandy, North, Tooth… even Phil I suppose, if you wanted to stretch it and rub it in my face. Come Christmas Eve, I was the only one left still standing. Tooth consoled me,

"You're one of the closest people to him, Bunny, and one of the last to hold him before he died. _You_ brought him back to life, and you love him. He's just trying to figure out his own feelings right now."

"Love him? Who said I loved that little devil mite?" I snapped back, shaking my head as I stood up and began to walk away.

"Bunny, you can't walk away from the truth!" I heard her call after, to which I so lovingly replied:

"You've all lost your heads!" And to me, it seemed true. Ever since Jack had seen and forgiven them, they'd been back to their –almost- normal selves. I seemed to be the only one around the place still sulking.

Despite having just recovered two weeks ago from the raging fever caused by hypothermia, I stepped outside onto one of North's many balconies. Fresh, crisp air with the smell of cookies and pine from the open glass doors behind me wafted around and around, making me almost dizzy. Growling slightly to myself, I spun and slammed the French pane doors shut, closing my eyes and sighing. Eventually, I was breathing in the smell of fresh snow and stars. A good smell, away from all of the Christmas cookies, eggnog, hot chocolate and coffee that permeated the air. In fact, I had smelled that for almost a year now and I believed even the smell of my own Warren would make me sick. I just wanted something crisp and without much of a smell to it. I wanted fresh air…

I was just beginning to smile when the doors behind me once again whooshed open, engulfing me in the smells I'd wanted so much to avoid. I didn't know whether to shout or cry, so instead, I settled for turning around, ready to kick the elf who had most likely ruined my peace.

Just as I was about to let lose my kick, I caught sight of Tooth.

"Bunny? What are you doing?" she half laughed, giving me a smile and raised eyebrow. I could feel my own eyes wide open.

"Uh, n-nothing. Thought you were an elf."

"Right, well, put your foot down Hopper, Jack's ready to see you." I gulped, following her inside and through the swarms of yetis and elves. A few patted me on the back, and the elves that tried to jump and pat me usually missed and ended up falling on the floor. Everything was in high definition and my fight or flight instincts were kicking in. _What the bloody hell is wrong with me? _

Finally, we turned a corner and were thrown into sudden silence. I could hear my heart pounding at a thousand miles an hour and wondered if Tooth could hear it too. She stopped in front of the infirmary's door. Patting me lightly on the shoulder, she smiled.

"It'll be fine, Bunny. It's time for you two to heal each other." And then, she disappeared. _Heal each other… wonder what she means by that._ Breathing in deeply only to let it out on a half-choked sigh, I entered, softly closing the door behind me.

There he was, still in the same bed, by the same window, looking out it at the snowy tundra beyond. Only this time, the moon swathed him in light instead of an evening sun. He'd no doubt heard me enter, but we pretended like I hadn't. It gave me a chance to walk up to him and see how much he had changed… how much he looked like his old self again. His skin was still pale, but had a light pink ting to it. His hair was back to its lily white color, which I was thankful for, and while still looking thin, did not look delicate or… dead.

Slowly, I lowered myself onto the bed next to him, leaning on my paws.

"Twelve months, and you didn't request for a guest room?" I asked, saying the third thing that had come to mind. The first two being … inappropriate for the time being.

However, he continued to ignore me, pretending I wasn't there. I frowned, but was determined not to let it get to me. _Give him some time… _

"Well, at least you get a good view. The only view from the room I was in was a ceiling, if you get what I mean," I joked, reaching over to nudge him, but thinking better of it and pulling back. Still, I was ignored. "Alright- umm, so, Sandy and the others, they, uh, they got stuff off their chests I'm guessing." Not even a nod. "You should see them around the place. It's like they were given the best gift in the world the way they go on about the place. Though I'm sure being forgiven will do that to you…" That did get a reaction out of him; but not one I was able to handle well. A simple glance out of the corner of his eyes that spoke in volumes.

I huffed, feeling myself shake in-in… I didn't know anymore. I suppose it was the stress and the look that finally pushed me over the edge.

"Look, Jack. I don't know what you expect from me, but I'm not going to be as sweet or dodgy as the others. I'm not going to shut up or take your silence like the others have. Hell, do you know what I've _been _through this past year? Maybe I'm overreacting, I mean, I haven't seen you in the time that the others have. There's gotta be a reason you left me for last. And I don't think I'm reading too much into it." Too agitated to sit, I stood up and began pacing, not noticing his eyes that were now on me.

"Dammit, Jack, I know what you've been through, it's gotta be hell, but did you ever think maybe I'm going through hell too? Not knowing how you are, and the day you pushed me away and just… just _ran_! I… I was so scared," from almost shouting to whispering, I became shaky in the legs and plopped heavily down on the sheets beside him once more. "God, Jack, I thought… _we _thought you were dead. I spent so long in here, barely recovered, driving myself mad with _what-ifs _and guilt. I couldn't take it, and then… then I held you and you – you breathed! I wanted to cry and leap for joy… but you told us to leave, and my heart broke… Jack, I couldn't take it, I was ready to give up right alongside you, and I don't know why, but now…" I looked up and was captured by his eyes. His blue eyes. They weren't cold, or unforgiving. Instead, they were the warmest, bluest eyes I'd ever seen. Blue like the ting of the sky in Australia. The blue ting seen at the edges of a fire. "But now… I know… and I care for you more than a brother ever should, Jack."

The moment I said it, I saw the mistake. It was too much, too soon. He began to retreat back on himself, and I called inconsistently: "No, no, no don't do this to me Jack. Please, please Jack, I'm sorry!" He froze, but I didn't comprehend. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I was wrong. Oh, God Jack I was wrong on so many levels, on so many things. We all were, and we don't deserve your forgiveness. But if only you'll have our apologies, Jack, i-if only-" and I was starting to sob, and I felt so weak and stupid for it…

Then, my nose turned cold, like a snowflake touching a spring flower. Through my tears I saw a blurry image of Jack, who had just nipped my nose with a kiss.

"It's okay Bunny, it's okay…"

* * *

**_Three years later_**

Today, the scars were gone.

Physically and mentally. Something only Manny could give me; his own apology. And I can't say I'm unhappy about it at all.

Three years ago, I hit a rut so deep I thought I could only dig it deeper… But then I was reminded of the family I now had. Of people who cared for me so much that they felt my pain just as deeply as I did.

And the Voices are gone. Bunny can be thanked for that. I finally found who I was looking for, no matter how cliché that sounds. Someone to talk to, to annoy and play pranks on. And most of all, someone to come back to at the end of the day, who will hold me in their arms and tell me it would all be okay.

I finally meant something. And the Voices said nothing in return for there was nothing I could handle alone anymore; because I finally had a family.

* * *

_I know BunnyxJack isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I suppose you could always "pretend" that it was some other character in his place. However, that is how I wrote it and I shan't be fixing it. Also, I'm not attacking anyone or calling anyone out. I actually am glad this point was brought up and wanted to address so there isn't any confusion. And if you have any requests you'd like for me to write, go ahead and message me (I think it's turned on;;). Sorry for the long author's notes... I talk so much, aish._

_I think this was more along the lines of the ending I had originally planned._ _I hope it does justice to the original story. I worked pretty hard on this, and it turned out longer than I imagined, but I am always much better at writing angst than happy stuff. Anyways, if there was something you didn't like about it, or DID, please comment; it helps me construct my writing. This was actually kinda fun to write and I didn't feel that "rushy" thing writers can sometimes get (hopefully it's not just me). There's just one thing I was worried about: did I catch the other characters well in here? I focused mainly on that since I spent the entire other chapter on Jack. I'm sure you can imagine what he was going through, so I wanted to show the turmoil of the other Guardians. Thank you for asking for another chapter: I was able to wrap it up a bit more. And if you actually read my author's note, I'll get North to send over some elves with cookies (just don't feed them!)_


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